Alpha Sperm – Women have it soooo much tougher than men!

Let’s compare how tough life is between the sexes by starting this debate at the biological process of sex itself.

A woman’s egg get’s released from the ovaries and makes it’s way to a fallopian tube – but how? Does the egg have legs? How about a tail? How does it propel itself to it’s destination, thus earning itself pride in having broken a sweat in the whole reproductive adventure? It doesn’t propel itself. Like Cleopatra having four beta-orbiters carry her around on a litter, the egg floats along it’s route on a rainbow-river of fluid, like a butterfly, carefree and lazy, able to use it’s iPhone to check Facebook updates until it’s subsidized trip of leisure is complete.

And does the egg have competition from other eggs? No, the egg mustn’t fight 90-500 million other eggs, each frantically rocking about trying to crack each other into egg omelets to ensure victory. Why? Because only one egg makes the journey. Like an evolutionary governmental minority set-aside policy, competition is kept away from our solitary snowflake of an egg.

And where are these eggs stored until it’s time for their journey? In some thin carry-on bag someplace vulnerable outside a woman’s body? No, the eggs are safely inside the woman’s body, making it virtually impossible for someone to yell, “Kick her in the nuts,” and damage the fragile egglettes.

Let’s compare the journey of the egg to the journey of the sperm.

Are sperm kept inside a nice safe place inside a man’s body? No, they are kept in a paper-thin bag that is easy for a feminist to yell, “Kick him in the nuts,” and succeed in doing so.

When a man ejaculates, does only one sperm come out, thus making it feel like a special snowflake,  a chosen-one to go on a special journey of eat/pray/love self-discovery? No, some 90-500 million sperm must compete for the prize of reproduction. Only the strongest of the lot will succeed. Only a 1 in 500-million chance of success – how’s that for a tough dating market?

And do these sperm get to float on a liquid raft on their carefree destination to the egg? No, in fact, the sperm have tails so they can swim against the current of the female’s vaginal flow that is actively trying to keep all intruders out.

Once the ToughMudder physical journey is complete at the egg, do the sperm get invited into the egg with an open door, a smile and a nice home-cooked meal? No, the egg acts like it isn’t home, and the sperm must use their enzymes to chisel through the fortress walls — before other sperm do the same, or a woman’s natural defenses kill them off.

Wow!

That’s amazing stuff!

You were right feminists!

Women do have it soooo much tougher then men right from the get-go.

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2 Comments on “Alpha Sperm – Women have it soooo much tougher than men!”

  1. James says:

    This is excellent, hahah.

  2. Subway Masturbator says:

    free to check iphone updates… too brutal… ROFL


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