Why YaReally Need To Learn GAMEPosted: May 2, 2013
This is a compilation of GAME advice from YaReally who YaReally needs to write a fuckin’ book since so many dudes need his advice. See it’s not that hard to compile material for a book, man! This is a work in progress and I’ll update it as time goes.
On the Frame of Mind you need to begin with
YA quoting someone else: “All right. Here we go. Get this straight. Sex is everywhere, okay? It is all around us. It’s not some distant destination. It’s not Everest. It is right here. You have to attune yourself to it.
You have to bring yourself into alignment. You have to find the zone, Nick. Okay? Do that, and I promise you a whole world will open up. Look at me. I walk around in a state of total receptivity. I’m like a fucking lightning rod.”
On How to Mentally Approach The Journey of Game
You’ve been presented with an amazing opportunity to take charge of your love-life and dominate the world around you instead of pinging off the universe reacting to the world around you like a pinball. It’s a tough road, it’ll take time, but it’ll teach you more about yourself than you can imagine and the payoff will be a life you can’t even imagine at this point.
… accept the pain and shell-shock of what’s happening as a natural thing and eventually overcome it. You find new ways to appreciate the world around you despite it’s faults and you learn to accept reality for what it really is: flawed and imperfect but often filled with good things if you look for them. You realize that people are the same, we all have potential for good and bad, and that all of that is simply societal judgement attempting to solidify shades of grey into black and white for easier processing and teaching to new generations and to keep society stable.
… PUA is a complete overhaul of your life from top to bottom, internal and external, and it’s a slow process to internalize everything. You don’t just read “okay do XYZ and that’ll work” and then do it. You’ll do it a thousand times fucking up or running into unexpected obstacles at different points in XYZ until you learn to handle that stuff and work around it…and the benefits extend beyond the pussy notch count. I can go into a bar as an unknown and walk out with most of the bar knowing me by name, new friends and social circles, invites to parties/events, bartenders bouncers and managers giving me VIP status and remembering me by name, some random makeouts and #s, etc. all stone cold sober.
On Not Fearing Approach Rejection
Rejection is only a rejection of your approach, not of you as a man. They don’t know you, they can’t tell how awesome you are based off the first 30 seconds if you aren’t presenting yourself properly…their rejection is completely not an assessment of your worth as a man. Once you learn to present yourself properly, you’ll get rejected less.
… One thing that might help is to get in the mindset of “I can’t control whether a girl likes me, that’s out of my control, but I can control whether I approach her, or whether I escalate the situation, or whether I try to kiss her, or whether I go for her phone number…so as long as I’m taking action, then that’s pretty awesome, because that’s something I can control and feel good that I’m doing, even if the girl doesn’t like me or it doesn’t work out.”
On How to Open (Direct/Indirect)
You can open with anything, as long as what you open with comes from a place of self-amusement and congruency.
When you think “How should I open this girl?” you’re essentially thinking “What can I say/do to earn this girl’s validation?” and you’re already coming from a frame of having lower value than her.
When you think “What I’m saying is gold, of course she’ll love me, I’m so awesome!” you’re essentially screening her for “Is she cool enough for me to let her hang with me?” and you’re coming from a frame of having higher value than her.
Girls generally pick up on this subconsciously, because they’ve spent their lives having to learn to quickly assess “is this person being genuine/honest with me or are they trying to get something from me?”
A lot of why “Who lies more?” worked so well was because the guys learning it felt like they found the secret invincible formula, so when they approached with it they were approaching from that “This is going to blow her mind, of course she’s going to love me” frame.
Direct worked because the guys who tried it were sick of going indirect and beating around the bush and wanted to just get their intentions out in the open so they were just saying “HEY. You’re cute, I’d kick myself if I didn’t come say hi.” and expecting it to work, so it did.
When you’re out of state and feeling anti-social and just pushing yourself into sets with girls you’re not even into because you feel you “have” to because you’re out sarging, most of your sets will go shitty or not open at all, because you’re just going through the motion and even though “Hey, you’re cute, who are you?” worked the night before when you were on fire and met some super hot chick you were into, now you’re coming from a place of trying to get her validation to appease your ego and so you crash and burn with the exact same line.
Eventually you crash and burn enough that your ego goes “Fuck it, this is horrible lol it can’t possibly get any worse, let’s just fuck around instead of trying to keep our PUA Batting Average flawless!” and then you let go of your attachment to the outcome and start self-amusing and suddenly shit opens for you.
The guys at RSD are opening girls with “DOG. Cunt! Whore!!” right now and it works because it’s amusing to them so the girl can tell they’re approaching from a place of qualifying/screening/testing them VS trying to seek their approval. This is also why Naturals can open with retarded shit that objectively AFCs overhear and go “wtf!! That’s not even funny, it’s just ’cause he’s 6’4″ and rich that she likes him, and she’s a bar slut!” lol Because Naturals are pretty much the kings of self-amusement…somewhere along the way their life circumstances taught them not to take hitting on girls seriously at all so anything they say is coming from the right place, VS the pickup newbie who’s ENTIRE SELF-WORTH AS A HUMAN BEING depends on her being receptive.
You can open just by staring her down and literally not saying anything for a few minutes, you can open by making retarded noises, you can open by shouting her down like she’s in trouble, you can open self-depreciatingly, you can open overly-cocky, you can open with long flourishing elaborate dialogue Russel Brand style, you can open with cheesy “Hey baby, do you like raisins?” lines, etc….the “what” doesn’t matter, it’s the “why” that matters.
Congruency and self-amusement are the key. The rest is just mental masturbation.
… “Triangular Gazing” (look from eye to eye and down to her lips and back up, it shows you’re thinking about her lips/kissing/etc. without being blatant) while she talks.
… End of the day game is like Poker or Blackjack, there’s still elements you can’t control and some random outcomes, but with proper strategy you can heavily tilt the %s in your favor. A lot of anti-gamer types are like “Ohhh look that girl shot you down, so Game doesn’t work, see?? It’s just a numbers game!!” and it’s like, no, it’s just not 100%. But if a guy with no game approaches 100 girls and a guy with game approaches 100 girls, the guy with game is going to succeed a fuckload more consistently.
On Having a General GAME Game Plan
1) Go to a bar on a Friday night. Chat up 5 guys and 5 girls WITHOUT trying to fuck them, just talk about plain normal small-talk (for guys talk about sports/chicks/videogames, for girls talk about relationship advice (pretend you have a girlfriend, this’ll disqualify you as someone hitting on them so they won’t be as on guard or bitchy to you)/congratulate them on whatever b’day, wedding, etc. they’re celebrating/ask them where the bathroom is or for directions to another bar where your “girlfriend” is waiting etc.) and exchange names. Do the same with 1 or 2 bartenders and/or waitresses and/or shooter girls, who are paid to be friendly to you. If anyone asks where your friends are, say they’re coming later but you got there too early, and if anyone asks you where your friends are later in the night, say they got too drunk and stayed in but you hate staying in so you figured you’d come out for a drink. Leave as soon as you finish your 10 sets. For a mixed set of multiple guys/girls, every person you exchange names with in that group counts toward your 10 sets.
2) Next weekend go to the same bar. Chat up 5 guys and 5 girls and say hello to any of the people there who you talked to last week and chat with the same bartenders/waitresses/etc. as last week.
3) Next weekend go to the same bar. Chat up 5 guys and 5 girls and say hello to any of the people there who you talked to last week and chat with the same staff as last week.
4) Next weekend go to the same bar. Chat up 5 guys and 5 girls and say hello to any of the people there who you talked to last week and chat with the same staff as last week.
Congratulations. It’s one month from you reading this very post right this minute. You spent 1-4 hours of each week for a total maximum of about 16 hours of your entire 672 hour month, and you have 40 people who, even if only 25% of them are regulars, gives you a solid 10 people who frequent the bar on Fridays since people are creatures of habit and like to go to their favorite bars, and they know you by name and you can make small talk or flirt with them for social proof.
For month 2, do the same thing, but do it on Saturday night as well, at a different bar.
Now you have two bars where you have a total of anywhere from around 10-80 people who recognize you enough to say “Hey what’s up man, how’s it going, this place is crazy tonight hey?” or do a shot together or what-have-you. You also have anywhere from 4-16 staff members who recognize you and know you by name and will occasionally give you free shots if they’re male bartenders or come up to you and flirt/grope you if they’re female shooter girls.
Do that for 6 months and in half a year you own your city’s downtown nightlife.
Don’t drink more than a beer or two when you’re out, save your money to move to a bigger city with a better nightlife. Also consider getting a roommate where you are now, or moving in with a roommate in a bigger city.
While you save your money up to move, you can enjoy the fruits of your socializing labor in your current city when whatever cute chicks ARE around want to suck your dick because you seem to be the most important high-value guy in the city who knows people at every bar.
Guess what you’re going to do after you move? Same shit, except you’ll be even better and smoother at it because you’ll have done it once before. 4-8 hours of your week for a few months in your new city and you’ll have all the social proof and pre-selection you could ask for, in a city where you have a better selection of hotties to fuck.
On Having A GAME Game Plan for GAME Noobs/Noobs New To The Area
1) be in a venue where EVERYONE feels nervous and anxious (aka a nightclub)
And 2) choose people who seem to have low-value lol
Where do we find this combo? Go to a nightclub and look around, usually along the bars or beside the dance floor. You’ll see a bunch of guys standing around holding a drink not talking, just staring at the girls. They’ll often be solo or in small groups and they look like they’re thinking about talking to girls but they just stand there, occasionally talking to their buddy if they have one. They’ll do this the majority of the night.
These guys are on Death Row. The club environment has overwhelmed them and they’re shell-shocked. They want to socialize but they’re scared as fuck, the same way you are.
So how can you offer these guys value? Right now they’re nervous and scared to approach or talk to strangers…so you can offer value by chatting them up. That makes them go “oh thank god someone is talking to me!!” and you’ll relieve that tension/fear they have because you’re taking the initiative and letting them know hey, it’s cool to talk to people. They’ll be friendly because you’re rescuing them from the shell-shocked state they were in so they’re GRATEFUL that you started a conversation.
These guys aren’t going to be rockstar player badasses with tons of friends and lots going for them, but they’re also not always losers, often they’re nice/friendly guys who are just shy with socializing and just froze up and are in panic mode and waiting till they get drunker and can relax in that environment.
So the value you’re offering is helping them get more social/talkative, which, in a nightclub enviro full of hotties, is HUGE value because if you help them loosen up who knows maybe they’ll talk to a girl and take her home! How much more value could you GIVE someone, you know?
To not look gay (lol) I usually open talking about the girls. Like I’ll stand near these guys being a part of Death Row myself, and when I see one of them check out a hot girl that walks past I’ll check her out too and then make eyes with him and be like “shit, cheers to THAT girl hey? lol” and hold my beer up for them to cheers “is this place always this good?”. From there if the guy seems friendly I’ll stick to girl talk but share some info about me like “man, we don’t have girls like that back home. I just moved here and some girls on the street told me this place has a bunch of drunk sluts so I figured hey, that’s where I want to go tonight! lol”. Note that I’m setting up easy conversation topics with this, because the guy can ask “oh where are you from?” Or “how do you like the city?” Etc cause remember he’s feeling nervous at the club too…so if you lob him easy conversation topics he can keep the convo going with you.
Also note how positive a conversation that is. It’s complimenting that girl, complimenting the bar, saying where you’re from isn’t as good, it’s implying you talked to some girls on the street, it’s got some humor to make them laugh. Combined with the value of loosening them up, the end result is they’re going to think “this person gives me good emotions and value!”
Now this isn’t gonna get you laid, and sometimes these guys are awkward/lame. Hell sometimes it’s their first night in the bar (I love that, I tell them about all the sketchy shit I’ve seen lol).
BUT, you CAN meet some nice dudes and build some small friendships. Exchange names and now when you see them at the bar again in the future you can say hi. Hell they may even be with girls and introduce you!
The gold mine is the totally solo guy. This guy is scared as fuck because he’s basically doing what you’re doing. Most of my best wingmen and longest friendships have been with these guys. After the small-talk up above I’ll say something like “ya I’ve never really been here but no one wanted to come out tonight so I figured I’d come out by myself but I’m nervous as fuck!! lol the girls here are so hot I don’t even know what to say to them.”
Now you’re relating to him and sharing some vulnerabilities so he starts feeling like he knows you. Plus it lets him open up about how nervous HE is. From there you can keep eachother company or try to encourage eachother to approach girls. Ideally you approach first (you’ll probably get shot down, THAT’S OKAY!! lol), just as soon as a girl walks by go “cheers!” and hold your beer out to her. She’ll probably just cheers, give a puzzled look, and walk away…but that’s more than your new buddy has done so while you laugh to him about “man I think she hated me lol” he’s going to go “wow this guy actually talked to a girl!! He’s way higher-value than me!” and from there you’ll probably both start talking to girls or at least talking to eachother ABOUT talking to girls which at this stage of your social life is just fine and dandy. You’re just socializing and making friends.
The nice thing about these guys is you know if they came out to the bar, they’re bar type people so if you two are still both solo at the end of the night you can say “this was fun we should creep girls out again sometime, you got a cell number?” and boom, you’ve got a wingman/friend who likes to go to the bars and since you both to solo you’re offering value to him because now he has a friend to go to the bars with. You’ve created a win/win situation for both of you.
When you have a few of these guys, you invite them all out to the same bar on the same night or over for pre-drinks before the bar and introduce them all to eachother. Now you have a little social circle you can build up from. It’s not going to be the highest value social circle where girls are lining up to fuck you all, but you can work your way up over time from there and build more social circles with cooler people and merge circles etc.
So there you go, give it a try. Like I say my best bar-buddies have come from this method over the years. And if I moved to a new city or was in a new enviro I would do this exact same thing because it’s simple and pretty much can’t go wrong.
Notice that nowhere in that conversation example did I have to admit I have no job or no friends or no social life etc. all that guy knows about me is “this guy is friendly, slightly less shy than me, makes me feel good emotions, and is offering me value!”
What I did was tell strangers stories my friends growing up told me about stuff THEY did, except pretend it happened to me lol if you’ve never had a friend who’s told you funny stories about their life, make shit up or exaggerate things that COULD’VE happened to you. That’s what early PUAs did with routines, it was actually similar to how a comedian looks at their day to day life and thinks “hmm what funny or weird or awkward things have happened to me this week?” and writes them down and practices how to tell them in front of a mirror. In fact a book/website/YouTube video on “how do I tell stories” or on comedy writing ideas might help you out a lot so Google for some of that shit. When you have a story make sure to tell it in every interaction so you get better at telling it, etc.
What happens is over time you start to collect new stories of fun/weird/awkward stuff that actually HAS happened to you. So you say “cheers!” to a girl and she goes “fuck off!!!!!” and barrels past you. Well that’s a story. “Man the girls here are so friendly. I was at a bar last week and said cheers to a girl and she shouted “fuck off!!!!!” and literally shoved me into my friends! I don’t know if she was hammered or having a bad day but wow I’m so glad you guys are friendlier lol”. Hell, steal that story I just wrote right there lol that just happened to you last weekend! Boom your first story! lol
It took me a solid 2 or 3 months before I started having interesting stories of my own to tell. 6 months in probably 60% of my stores were my own real ones that happened to me. By a year in it was 100% my own stuff because in a year of going out and socializing I had collected a bunch of random adventures and stories. Now years later I have stories of shit that’s happened to me that people can’t even believe lol
On The Mechanics of a Successful Hookup (Mystery Method A1 – S3 Breakdown)
Download and print out this Mystery Method cheat sheet
The following example illustrates how various conversations would fit into the MM model:
The general rule is tease a couple times, then answer for real.
Girl: “what do you do?”
Guy: “I’m the top fry cook at Burger King”
Girl: “lol noooo you’re a liar!!”
Guy: “Keep calling me names and I won’t let you use my employee discount.”
Girl: “lolol c’mon I wanna know for real”
Guy: “I work at (job).”
Girl: “omg I knew you were lying lolol I love (job)!”
So there’s a bit of a tease but then you let her have an answer. As you go from Attraction to Comfort (again using MM as a guide here), you tone down the teasing and only sprinkle it in here and there because you’re building a connection.
The prob with most guys who don’t learn game is they don’t tease at all so the girl doesn’t get a challenge or feel an emotional roller coaster of ups and downs, so it looks like:
Girl: “what do you do?”
Guy: “I work at (job).”
zzzzzzz…same info is revealed to the girl in both cases but one way was emotionally engaging and fun and attractive, the other was boring and handing her his resume.
The other way guys fuck up is what you’re doing now, where you overgame and don’t pull it back:
Girl: “what do you do?”
Guy: “I’m the top fry cook at Burger King”
Girl: “lol noooo you’re a liar!!”
Guy: “Keep calling me names and I won’t let you use my employee discount.”
Girl: “lolol c’mon I wanna know for real”
Guy: “ok I’m actually the burger flipper instead of the fry cool.”
Girl: “okay seriously come on”
Guy: “all the free burgers you can eat!”
Girl: “I just want to know okay??”
Guy: “what kind of burger should I make you?”
Girl: “sigh forget it.” (Delete)
They switch gears to asking serious questions when you pass the “hook point” where they’re actually interested in you (so you’ve entered A2 according to Mystery Method). They’re interested/attracted at this point so they want some real answers to make sure it’s safe to continue being attracted to you.
If you keep teasing, they get frustrated because they want to be attracted to you but they need some reassurance of who you are first and you won’t give them that so they can’t let themselves be too attracted and that’s frustrating to them. Eventually they’ll go “fuck it” and give up lol
So congrats, you’re making it past A1 into A2. Try pulling back on the teasing when you sense they’re getting frustrated.
Then ask them the same question they asked you and qualify their answer like “you’re not making that up are you?” “no I swear!” “Hmmm I love (her answer). You could be trouble for me.” That will take you from A2 to A3, and from there you start transitioning into Comfort aka C1
On Transitioning from Negging to Building Comfort
“Anyone have any guesses or suggestions on how to best tell when to start ‘getting real’ in an interaction?”
Look for her qualifying herself and/or chasing you. This’ll be subtle in hot girls, and it’s a little more than an IOI. It’s more about her “exposing herself” or “throwing herself out there” or “making herself vulnerable”.
The key that goes hand-in-hand with that is “did I EARN this interest?”. That’s where experience and understanding the game comes in. A hooker will go up to the ugliest guy in the room and ask his name, it’s all fake because he didn’t earn it. But a girl who you’ve pushed through some emotions and ran solid game on asking your name, that’s legit.
Her: “What do you do?” (setting a hoop for you to qualify yourself with)
AFC: “I’m an investment banker.” (qualifying yourself by actually answering)
Her: “oh…” (bored)
AFC: “…” (no game)
Her: “So ummm what’s your name?” (no attraction, he didn’t earn this, she’s just filling silence)
Her: “What do you do?” (hoop)
AFC: “I work at McDonald’s.” (shitting on hoop)
Her: “You’re a liar!!” (shit-test)
AFC: “No, I wouldn’t lie to a girl like you!” or “You got me, I’m really an investment banker” (backtracking, failing shit-test, seeking approval)
Her: “Wow, that’s SO interesting. You’re so fascinating. What’s your name?” (no attraction, she’s just shit-testing)
Her: “What do you do?” (hoop)
PUA: “I work at McDonald’s.” (pass)
Her: “You’re a liar!!” (shit-test)
PUA: “No fries for you!” (congruent and passing shit-test)
Her: “:O OMG…I can’t believe you said that.” (shit-test)
PUA: “Get used to it, so many things about me are unbelievable.” (congruent/unapologetic and passing shit-test)
Her: “Oh reall–” (shit-test attempt)
PUA: “Like how small my penis is. ” (shitting on her shit-test attempt)
Her: “:O” (fried circuits)
PUA: “It’s like a wet baby carrot.” (congruent/unapologetic and ahead of her, she has to catch-up, like the “No fries for you!!” bit)
Her: “lololol omg what’s your name??” (legit IOI, exposing herself, time for comfort, because I earned this reaction)
That’s working off her actions, but you can take the lead yourself if you feel you’re in A3 and you can start to qualify her…So say we take it from here in that last interaction and I want to know where I’m at:
Her: “:O OMG…I can’t believe you said that.”
PUA: “Could you ever love a fry chef? You’re hot, but hot girls are usually shallow. You’re not shallow are you?”
This can branch into two responses:
1) Her: “oh ya I’m totally shallow.” (not qualifying herself, spike her temperature more then try to get her to qualify again)
or 2) Her: “noooo I’m not shallow!! I’m so nice!!” (her qualifying herself, now I know I can transition into Comfort…if I get the 1st response, I keep gaming and returning to qualifying until she finally qualifies herself, then I go into Comfort)
This is why we had those old-school “I love a girl who can cook, can you cook?” routines. Their purpose was to see if the girl would say she can cook (if she’s attracted but can’t cook she’ll lie that she can cook or she’ll apologize that she can’t cook and hope you forgive it) and we’d know we can start transitioning, or if she would say she can’t cook (if she’s not attracted but can cook she’ll play it down or lie that she can’t cook).
This is all a really subtle chess game and you’ll fuck it up a TON until you get it right. And when you get it right, you’ll run into an some smokin’ hot 10 who loves you way faster than you’re used to and you’ll fuck THAT up. etc. etc. lol
So pay attention for “did I earn this, have I logically done attractive things in front of or to her?” and “is what she’s doing/saying showing some vulnerability in her iron bitch-shield?” and try throwing out a few “can I get her to qualify herself to me?” bits.
… Girls will surprise you when you get into the comfort/rapport stage more frequently with them. It’s part of why I don’t insult them and look at them all as vapid shitty bar slut whores like a lot of bitter guys do. They’re just like anyone else…if you cut through their bullshit persona and get to their core as a person, you’ll find a lot of them are much more complicated/fascinating/beautiful on the inside than other people who only see the exterior facade think.
… I actually like the comfort/rapport stage a lot. A lot of guys get bored with it and it’s just a necessary evil to them, but I really like to see what makes people tick and break through their bullshit exteriors to talk to them on an internal level. This is part of why I build comfort/rapport with people (guys, girls, old people, etc.) REALLY fast, like they feel like they’ve known me for years when it’s only been a few minutes…it’s because I’m getting to know them on a level that only maybe their best friends of 20+ years know them. Like they’re keeping everyone else at arms length but I just steamroll through that and get in close on the level that only their close friends and family know them…and often I’ll get to know them BETTER than their friends/family know them because I talk to them about inappropriate subjects that their friends would judge them for.
On Owning the Frame and/or Directing all interactions with Females towards the Sexual
So for me, I focus on 1) making it VERY clear that I’m all about sex and fun/non-judgemental/kinky/etc. in bed, 2) making it VERY clear that I’m not Provider/long-term material, 3) pushing them through a lot of emotions in a very short time (there’s a lot of “fuck I hate you. Why are you such a bitch? I hate that I kind of want to fuck you. Get out of here! No I’m just kidding, I love you come here lol” etc. and 4) steering the conversation away from logical discussions about what I do for a living, my ambitions in life, etc.
Often girls don’t know anything about my personal life before we fuck lol, they just know that I’m fun, I turn them on, and I make them feel good (instead of ashamed) ABOUT being turned on. That’s enough for most of them to fuck, yes, even the Good Girls. Remember when you’re spiking a girl’s attraction up and frying her circuits, they’re thinking with emotion, not logic. Calm, rational, and objectively filling out some kind of survey, a Good Girl would probably say “oh I’d never hook up the same night”, and if you’re a guy who’s boring/average/normal, she’s right, she won’t hook up with you the same night. But when you know how to access that emotional side of her, she’s not in the same state she was in when she filled out that survey or went on a dinner date with a boring guy and she gets swept up in the moment like the other girls because her logical circuits are fried.
This is why I don’t need the 7+ hours or whatever…I’m flipping a very efficient set of switches to lead to the type of lay I’m after (casual fuckbuddies). At the same time, I’m not going as fast as the Direct numbers-game type guys because I DO want to hook up with the chick more than a quick bathroom fuck as passing ships in the night, so there are a few more switches I’m flipping that the Direct guys don’t give a shit about.
A lot of guys taking girls on dates Waste time flipping switches they don’t need to flip, or switches that actively slow their seduction down (like bragging about their accomplishments without realizing they’re pleading their case for her to categorize them as a Provider and not put out quickly). This isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you like going on dates or you’re looking to settle down with a girlfriend etc. (although it’s very easy to go from fuckbuddies to BF/GF, you just see her more than once a week and open up a bit over time and the Oxytocin and human nature does the rest).
Like I COULD clean my room before girls come over, I’d still probably be able to get the lay but I know looking like a clean and responsible guy with a nice bedroom flips a switch in the Provider category, so why make things difficult on myself? Instead I’ll let my room be messy and leave a condom wrapper and a chick’s bobby-pin on the ground near my bed. What switch does that flip? The “definitely not a Provider…but probably a good fuck who gets laid” switch. That’s much more productive in terms of getting to my personal goals of casual fuckbuddies where she doesn’t expect any commitment from me or expect me to try to impress/woo her.
Early in the interaction, like when we’ve first met, I’ll bring up super sexual topics with the group (flipping the switch of “I’m fun in bed and non-judgemental”), I won’t censor my swearing (flipping the switch of “this isn’t a guy I could bring home to meet my parents, he’d be too offensive”), I’ll drop stories that make me sound like an asshole player like “ya I’m tired…well I don’t wanna say, you’ll think I’m sketchy lol Fine, fine, I had this stupid chick over last night. She didn’t even give head, she said she thinks sucking cock is gross…wtf is that? I’ve never met a chick that didn’t like giving head…and now she’s been txting me all fucking day and I don’t want to be a dick and tell her no, you suck in bed, sorry ’cause it’ll scar her for life, but I also don’t want to hook up with her again ugh…how do I get rid of this girl?” (flipping the switch of “wow, what a horrible person, this guy is NOT Boyfriend material…but he gets laid, he’s non-judgemental about girls being slutty, he has standards/expectations in the bedroom and he has enough abundance with women that he’s willing to turn down pussy”), I’ll talk about how I hate clingy chicks (flipping the “don’t try to get me into a relationship” switch) and how some girl I was seeing was looking for a boyfriend while we were hooking up and that I fully supported that because I just want everyone to find what they’re looking for whether it’s a fling or a serious relationship but that I know when you’re first dating a real boyfriend type you don’t want to look like a slut and put out right away but you still need to get fucked (flipping the switch of “you can look for a boyfriend while you’re with me if you want, so there’s no downside what-so-ever to hooking up with me” (note for the insecure guys: most girls don’t go looking for a BF, they’re happy with a regular consistent good lay that they hope one day they can figure out how to land)).
Combine that kind of stuff with the obvious external signs that I’m not going to be her Provider, like not having a 6-pack and Armani suit, not having a car, not having my own apartment, etc. and the picture painted for her is “this is a guy to fuck, not date”.
… If she txts “how was your day?” and you wait 24hrs and txt back “not bad. u?”, that’s going to fuck you over compared to instantly replying “boring as fuck, but my night is going to be better ’cause I’m picking you up at 7 for dinner. Wear that red dress you wore when we met, that was killer.” Again even if she rejects the offer, you’ve shown that you’re not a friend zone guy, you’re not her texting buddy, you’re a guy that if she continues to interact with you, you will fuck her (so technically her still interacting with you after rejecting you IS the IOI that she still wants you to fuck her lol, but that’s another concept entirely)
You: “we should hang out friday. 8pm work for you?”
Her: “lol I have yoga class then…besides i have a boyfriend”
You: “putting images of you bending over and stretching in yoga pants is not helping me not want to bang you.”
Her: “omg you’re terrible! besides you should take me out to dinner first”
You: “is this where I make innuendo about eating out?”
Her: “omg lolololz”
Girl: “So what do you do?”
You: “Get into trouble, mostly. I’m surprised you haven’t slapped me yet. You’re not like other girls.”
Girl: “lol noooo I mean what do you do for a living”
You: “you know what I DON’T work all week long to do when I come out to a bar on Friday to relax? Talk about WORK. Come on, let’s go dance.”
Girl: “What do you do for a living?”
You: “God, why do girls all ask the same questions?? Is this city just full of gold-diggers or what? Ask me something INTERESTING.”
Girl: “What do you do for a living?”
You: “Why are you talking about that at a BAR? It’s a BAR, we’re here to have FUN. Quit being WEIRD. I need to relax after the day I had, I was…(insert story, tease, topic change, etc)”
Girl: “Where do you live?”
You: “Don’t pretend you don’t know. I saw you outside my bedroom window last night, perv.”
On What Makes Naturals Good
Part of what makes Naturals good is that they’re really attuned to these little windows of opportunity and they’ve had success with women for so much of their lives that they instinctively pounce on these windows instantly, whereas guys like us have to learn to watch for them…and beta AFC guys don’t even notice the windows are opening or talk themselves out of it (“nahh no way she could be into me, she probably was just being polite” lol). This is part of why we err on the side of “assume attraction” instead of “assume no attraction”…often, especially at the start, there are actually open windows in the interaction that you don’t even realize are there, so it’s better to be erring on the side of trying to jump through the windows.
On Setting The Mood for your Group of Buddies
I generally try to make sure my whole group feels good and awesome and confident when we go out because I want my buddies to feel like the shit the way I do so we all kill it as a group and all have a blast…so ya, I could be like “Dude, that girl was NASTY!! lol” and tool him in front of everyone, but then what kind of vibe are we going out with? Depression, hostility, insecurity, competitiveness, etc. That’s no fun.
On Being the Center of Attention
Don’t be afraid to be the center of attention…learn to thrive on it and enjoy it. We’re taught by society not to draw attention to ourselves and disrupt everyone’s lives…but someone who’s good will revel in creating chaos and having the whole room mind-fucked by what he’s doing.
On What Short Guys Should Do
For a short guy, it’s better for you to be approaching groups with hot girls in them, because you get a chance to demonstrate your value, THEN you can zero in on a target and escalate from there. Being short, you’re approaching with a deficit of value in their stereotypical view of the world, so if you go direct you don’t get a chance to demonstrate how awesome you are…but when you jump into the gladiator ring and go head to head with some lions (aka shit-tests, her bitchy friends, etc.) and come out victorious, NOW you have high-value.
Imagine if, at this point, a hot shooter girl you always flirt with, comes over and grabs you and flirts with you. What would THAT do to the dynamics of this group where you’ve won them over and shown enough value for the 7 and 7.5 to approve of you and you know the 7 is a little bit interested (there’s a spark there, as evidenced by her throwing you a sword earlier, and her asking your name before she goes later)? Then imagine your buddy brings you a beer, because you’re so pimp that your buddies supplicate to you? Then imagine the manager of the bar goes “Scray!! What’s up man! Hey girls, watch out for this guy, he’s trouble! ” and buys the table a round of shots.
Think your height would matter a single fuck at that point? This is the kind of game you’re going to be working toward over the next few years of your life. Future Scray will be doing shit you can’t even imagine would be possible for him to do right now.
… Honestly as a short guy I would avoid talking about height related topics at all unless she brings it up. Once you set the frame that you view the world through height, like it’s something that’s relevant to you, she’s going to view the world that way too because what you feel, she feels.
On How to Obliterate a Cock-blocking Bitch Shield
If you watch the last set that Cajun opens on his Keys to the VIP appearance (hit Youtube up), you’ll notice he turns around the bitchiest girl in the set because he says to the friends “I like your friend, you know why? Because she’s the only one who gave me shit.” and basically compliments her on having attitude etc. From there the bitch shield is obliterated and she becomes a sweet purring little kitten.
On Handling Shit-Tests
Thing is, no one shit-tests the quiet shy Nice Guy with no identity who stands in a corner trying to blend into the background while his buddies are approaching girls. He’s insignificant. When you start getting shit-tested, that means you’re popping up on people’s radar. So get used to it lol.
… I’d rather a girl shit-tests me so I can pass those tests and build attraction fast, than just think I’m a “nice guy” and not test me at all and we get stuck in that gay friend zone vibe lol
… If an 18yo girl at the bar says “I hate you”, it hurts. If your 5 year old neice says “I hate you” and pouts it’s cute and you go “lol awww” and are completely unphased by it. So this option is basically treating her like she’s your 5yo neice or little sister, like what she tried to burn you with was silly and she just amuses you trying to give you shit. This shows a lot of confidence and it passes the shit-tests and builds attraction (often causing more shit-tests until she finally decides “okay this guy is solid, I can’t get to him……so I LIKE him!”) lol
On How to Handle another Man trying to Disrupt Your Group Approach and be The Alhpa Male of the Group (AMOG)
This is how I handle AMOGs a lot of the time if they’re dicks to me. I’ll rally the group/crowd up against them, so I know they’re feeling massive social pressure, and as soon as I see them pass that point where they crack and consciously realize “o shit everyone thinks I’m the asshole here”, I’ll press on them a little harder and just give it a twist thinking like “fuck you for being a dick…see this feeling? I control this, this is a direct consequence of you being a dick to me…memorize this pain, asshole.”, and then I’ll just relieve allllllll that pressure and go “lol it’s cool man, we’ve all been drinking and I totally was kind of creepy when I came up anyway lol You gotta’ protect your girls from the bar creepers, right? You’d be a shitty friend if you DIDN’T give a random strange dude shit for talking to them. So anyway–(segue into resuming the sarge)”
He’ll take that olive branch because he gets to stop feeling all that social pressure, and now you’re bros.
This is REALLY powerful. You would be surprised how many people, guys, girls, hot girls, tough MMA type guys, etc. will cave to social pressure and how much power you have when you can consciously wield that social pressure. It’s fascinating.
… Generally with AMOGs, try to get into the mindset that everything is a compliment, even if it’s logically probably not…VS the opposite mindset where everything is an insult/AMOG-attempt, even if it’s logically probably not. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll “win” or get the girl or win over the group or whatever, but it’s a healthier mindset because a lot of times when people tease you but see that you laugh it off and they can’t shake you, they respect you for it and then legitimately warm up to you.
On if you Don’t like Dancing
If you don’t LOVE dancing, like you wouldn’t go to a club JUST to dance, then if you’ve got heavy kino with a girl and it’s later in the night and the dance floor is crowded enough that you can isolate her from her friends a bit and the attraction is there that you feel like you can escalate to sexy grinding and become a “couple” for the rest of the night afterward, cool, go dance with her. But if it’s anything less than that, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot and killing attraction while you dance 2 feet away from her feeling insecure and you’re all in a circle facing eachother friend-zone style.
At least if you just vanish, you’re still a little mysterious and she can wonder what dancing with you would be like.
I actually sometimes go “Okay ya let’s go” and let everyone else walk in front of me to the dance floor and then before I get to the floor I just veer off and go somewhere else and talk to other people or get a drink or go to the bathroom etc. and don’t go onto the dance floor to join them at all lol It makes the girl go “wait what? Where did YaReally go??” and it’s not much but hey, she’s thinking about me and it gives her a reason to re-open me when she sees me later (“hey how come you didn’t come dance??”) where I might be able to build some more attraction and escalate and dance with her on my own terms if I want to dance.
Set the playing field that benefits YOU, don’t let other people lead you into a shitty field. You wouldn’t fight a war on the other army’s home turf if you had the option of fighting it on yours.
On Destroying the I’ve Got A Boyfriend Anti Slut Defense
Tell her you have a girlfriend. Then it’s okay for her to cheat on her boyfriend because you’re cheating on your girlfriend and don’t feel bad about it, so you aren’t judging her and she won’t feel bad about cheating on her boyfriend. She’ll also know that you won’t get clingy and fuck her relationship up with her boyfriend because you already have a girlfriend, so you’re automatically 100% in the “just casual sex” relationship zone.
I’ve had a framed photograph of my GF on my nightstand for almost a year now and it’s actually helped me lay taken girls (“ya, I’m taken too, but we’re out of the honeymoon stage and our sex life has kind of died down so she knows that I play around on my own time because we both know it’s natural to eventually want to explore sex with other people, you know what I mean?”) and set up a casual fuckbuddy frame (“sorry, no dates, I already have a girlfriend and I love her, but god you turn me on, we should do this again sometime”)…which I’m sure is the opposite effect of what she expected giving me the photograph would do lol
As soon as a girl tells me she has a boyfriend I mention being in an open relationship. The girl is always cheating because she doesn’t have an open relationship, but she feels free to cheat with me because she knows I won’t judge her.
I’ve actually told a couple girls “If you break up with your BF, you will never hear from me again.” because I don’t want them to break up with their BF thinking they’re going to seriously date me (it happens and it fucks the dynamic up and creates the “Ultimatum” where I have to either date her or she leaves).
… If she doesn’t harp on having one, ie – she mentions him once and then pretty much never again (until you’re closer to sex), she’s just doing it because of her ASD…she’s dissolving herself of responsibility for what happens because hey, she was a good girl, she SAID she had a BF, anything that happens is your fault not hers. So she has to mention him and then she’s free to fuck you.
But like I say, she’ll probably mention him again closer to sex, or during rapport, but generally she won’t talk about him in a positive light, it’ll be more like “ya my bf and I had a fight last week, I think he’s cheating on me” or “we’re going thru a rocky period” etc. that’s all ASD talking, alleviating her guilt for what’s about to happen.
In that situ, use this:
http://www.bristollair.com/2011/outer-game/pua-techniques/boyfriend-destroyer/ (Yeah this is not his stuff, but he brought it to my attention)
On Why Game beats Nice Clothes/Money
“(to the girl as suit-man walks or stands nearby) wow check out that guy’s suit, that’s fucking pimp. He looks like James Bond. I feel so underdressed in this T-Shirt. You should fuck him, no guy spends that much money on a suit unless he’s got a huge cock under it. I’m just saying, mine is tiny, you would be so disappointed in it. Hey, I saw that, you’re looking at my crotch. (grab her in close, put her hands around my shoulders, my hands around her hips) Fucking pervert, why are you so obsessed with my crotch? I’m totally not putting out tonight you know, you’re not even my type (cheeky grin), I think you’re hideous. (makeout)”
Or in situs where the guy is in set or enters my set or tried pouncing on my girl while I was taking a piss:
“(to the guy) wow that’s an awesome suit man, you look like fucking James Bond. (to the girl) this guy is awesome, you’re lucky your boyfriend dresses up when you guys go out, my ex never dressed up. Oh? He’s not your boyfriend? Oh shit sorry, awkward lol well he fuckin SHOULD be. The man has a SUIT, god. What more could you want? If you don’t date him you’re gonna be stuck with the rest of us ugly poor fuckers. Look at me I’m in a fuckin t-shirt. (side-step, turn her away from the suit guy) I gotta get a suit, what do you think, would I look hot in a suit? Ya? God, why are you so SHALLOW. You’re supposed to love me for my personality, not my ridiculously handsome good looks. I hate you, you shallow shallow bitch. Aww no, I’m kidding, I love you. Can you love me even in my t-shirt? (cut the space and get closer, put her arms up around my shoulders and mine at her waist). Because it seems like you love me already. I’m just saying. (knowingly cheesy) Don’t hold back your feelings, this is destiny. (get closer). But don’t think I’m going to kiss you, you’re not my type, being so shallow and all. I only like sweet (kiss) innocent (kiss) girls who (makeout)…what was I saying again?”
Don’t waste $1000 on a suit till you have game lol
Marriage is a legally binding contract that takes away every ability a man has to express his alpha qualities. In this day and age it is specifically designed to force a guy into a beta role that his woman will, ultimately, lose attraction for.
The nuance most guys don’t understand is that Hypergamy isn’t just about “who’s the best looking, richest, most alpha badass James Bond she thinks she can get”, it’s “who’s giving her the emotions she needs”. He IS better than before because even though he hasn’t changed in terms of external attributes, his behavior of IDGAF is now giving her the emotional rollercoaster she’s needed (but society has socially conditioned men to not provide or to feel ashamed/apologetic for providing).
So Hypergamy does apply, but you have to be looking at the right channels of “what is high value to a woman”? And when you just look through society’s channels (looks, money, etc) it doesn’t make sense that a chick dating some rich good-looking guy would fuck the scrubby badboy poolboy who makes her tingle. But when you understand her rich good-looking husband acts is too agreeable or in scarcity and the poolboy teases her or even picks fights with her and smooths them over etc, it makes perfect sense via Hypergamy, because that poolboy is providing her REAL value.
Again this is why I stress guys don’t get caught up in looks, money, etc. because it can put them on a wrong path where they think “I don’t get it, I’m losing attraction, maybe I need BETTER looks and MORE money since those are attractive!!”
When what women ACTUALLY value are the emotions you make them FEEL, and they want to feel a full RANGE of emotions (again no one goes to a movie where there’s no conflict, we pay money to go see horror flicks and shit, no one would read 50 Shades of Grey if the guy was a Nice Guy instead of a tortured bad boy, the entire basis of Twilight is “if we get together I’ll end up killing you” lol).
On Crazy Bitches
What your Blue Pill psychiatrist doesn’t get is that she doesn’t WANT TO GET BETTER. What she’s doing is WORKING. It’s KEEPING YOU AROUND. It’s KEEPING YOU ADDICTED TO HER.
And she ENJOYS IT. She WANTS TO FEEL BAD EMOTIONS AS WELL AS GOOD EMOTIONS. That’s why we pay money for horror movies, that’s why girls watch soap operas and read Twilight and shit. BAD EMOTIONS ARE GOOD EMOTIONS TO HER BECAUSE *******ANYTHING******* THAT ISN’T A DULL FLATLINE OF EMOTION MAKES HER FEEL *****ALIVE*****.
That’s why they cheat on the predictable provider guy who provides them a flatline of emotion even if that flatline is generally positive…they go fuck their lives up and cause themselves MASSIVE DRAMA because they want to feel ANYTHING, good or bad.
On Gaming During Halloween
Halloween is coming up, literally THE sluttiest time of the year with not just NO consequence for girls to be slutty but MASSIVE SOCIAL PRESSURE to BE slutty, and you can open EVERY chick with the EASIEST opener in the WORLD built into the holiday: “Hey, I like your costume” (or in my case “lol wtf are YOU supposed to be?” lol)
And for a month afterward you can ask what they were for Halloween too. But don’t just ask, QUALIFY THEM on it.
Instead of “So what is/was your Halloween costume? Oh, that’s a cool idea!” bla bla, apply Julien’s “boring conversation” stuff (Julien free PIMP vids on YouTube) to add authoritative/qualifying tonalities to it.
“What’s your costume going to be.” (breaking rapport tonality, like it’s a challenge, like you’ll walk away if she says something dumb)
“I’m going to be a (whatever)!”
“No. That’s terrible.”
“What omg!! What’s wrong with (whatever)??”
“Not slutty enough.”
“Well it has a short skirt and (bla bla qualifying)”
Take the conversation sexual, act as if it’s retarded to you that a girl wouldn’t dress up sexy for Halloween like you can’t even comprehend the existence of a girl who’s shy on Halloween etc (because hot girls dress sexy to show it off on Halloween, if you’re the kind of guy who’s around hot girls a lot that’s the mentality you would have…imagine a girl telling Dan Bilzerian she’s going to dress as a truck driver for Halloween, how would he react given the lifestyle he lives in?)
You can add in stuff like telling her what her costume SHOULD be (if she’s smokin hot, tell her she should dress as a truck driver or something unattractive implying that she’s ugly, if she’s shy bring out her sexual side describing sexy costumes and qualify her body etc), and disqualifying her entirely (freezeout, backturn, walk away, just noticeably show less interest, etc) until she wins you back etc.
This year Halloween falls on a Monday so the hotties will be costumed up Fri, Sat, Sun, and Mon. That’s 4 nights in a row of slutty costumes and girls letting their sexual sides out consequence-free.
Literally EVERY guy here, I don’t care who you are or what your situation is (even the married OMGs, ’cause if you expect your advice to carry weight to the Young Single Guys then you should be infield at LEAST during the easiest weekend of the entire year directly applying red pill shit on <25yo 8+/10s), should be in a nightclub and saying at LEAST that opener (ideally have a routine stack where you guess her costume and have her turn around for you to check her out and think about how you’re going to get up in her space and laser…have routines planned for when she asks you about your costume or lack of costume, not just one-liners but actual stacks that turn her asking that into you escalating sexually etc) to the top 20 hottest girls they see each night, regardless of whether those girls are with guys dressed in their “show off my abs” 300 Gladiator costumes or not, for at LEAST one of those 4 nights, but ideally all 4 nights in a row.
Not even to actually GET those girls (OMGs don’t have to cheat on their wives lol), but just to see some of this “crazy shit” I talk about in action.
More importantly than the OMGs though: this goes quadruple for the Young Single Guys sarging because this is their annual chance to push their comfort zone and gain reference experiences under EXTREMELY IDEAL circumstances with odds stacked MASSIVELY in favor of those 9s and 10s that might normally have bitch-shields up, being receptive as fuck to engaging with strangers since they’re in full attention-whoring mode. Even if you’re ugly or old just say “my costume is a creepy old man who hangs out in bars hitting on 21 year olds, under this I’m actually a 21yo 6″4″ jock with a 6-pack” lol
Just like you should normally be flirting with hot bartenders and waitresses because they’re PAID to be receptive to you and that builds reference experiences in your head of “I AM attractive to hot girls, that bartender loved me she stayed and kept asking questions way longer than she had to and we lasered!!”, and you should always engage birthday/engagement parties because they’re going to be receptive to you and that builds “I can handle groups of girls, girls love me! Also I’m learning group theory and seeing all these things Mystery and YaReally talk about!”, this is like EVERY SMOKESHOW HOTTEST GIRL IN THE ENTIRE CITY being an easy reference experience for you to collect.
You can still take home the slutty nurse 6 that’s been giving you the eye all night or whatever at the end of the night, I won’t judge ya, but EVERY DUDE ON THIS SITE should be out at least one of those 4 nights (ideally all of them) engaging with THE hottest girls they see all night long.
If it’s November 1st and all you’ve opened over the last 4 days are at BEST 6s and 7s and you SAW hotter than that (and we KNOW you did…except maybe Hank lol), then Real Talk: you need to do some serious thinking about how bad you actually want this part of your life handled and how bad you ACTUALLY want LEGITIMATELY HOT 8+/10 girls in your life instead of just average girls.
And for extra challenge, social pressure, and shit-tests: try doing this all without wearing a costume yourself…and mack the costumed chicks instead of the ones that aren’t costumed up which is what your brain will try to do to avoid the social pressure of not being dressed up (“this girl isn’t dressed up so WHEW we have a commonality and I don’t have to fear the social pressure of risking her thinking I’m lame for not dressing up”).
I expect to see a fuckload of “I approached actual 9s and 10s holy shit!!” FRs around here from Halloween weekend lol I don’t care if you even fuck them or not, just get into interactions with them. APPLY all this shit you’ve been reading about. Go UP against the 300 Gladiator AMOGs for the 10s and actually USE what you’ve been learning all year (DHV, tease, step to the side so she’s not facing him, push, pull, merge the set, use another girl to make her jealous, etc etc).
You HAVE the knowledge, you’ve been reading it all year, or for multiple years, and Halloween is THE easiest environment to apply it (every city becomes an overall Vegas mindset for the weekend). Every guy here HAS the knowledge to PULL AND FUCK <25yo 8+/10s who have thousands of orbiters and celebs and rich dudes and shit chasing them. Drag your ass out for at LEAST one of those nights, but ideally man up and do all 4 nights and try to push every set to an actual pull (“What are you doing later?”, see Julien’s free clips on YouTube about asking determining her logistics)
Choose nightclubs over house parties because house parties have limited options and a bunch of orbiter/AMOG dynamics to deal with, and choose nightclubs over bars because they’ll have more room and people are standing/walking around and you want quantity so that you can rack up as much experience engaging smokeshow hotties as possible (VS a pub down the street that might have one solid 9 if you’re lucky and she’ll be there in a big group sitting down at a booth table in a corner).
And on Halloween it’s totally fine to be out solo, no one gives a shit, they just assume your friends are drunk somewhere else (say your buddy went home with a slutty nurse) so don’t let not having friends or some group costume shit be an excuse to not go out.
This is that “push your comfort zone” shit I talk about. You can go out every night for a year straight and not make any real progress if you aren’t actually pushing your comfort zone out there…but spend ONE weekend getting up in the space of 9s and 10s and actually interacting with them on the night they’re most receptive, and you’ll do a fuckload of wonder for your internals and sense of entitlement. Don’t become another Manosphere chode that spends 10 years banging average girls and becomes bitter about the game when he’s really just secretly resenting himself for not stepping up to the smokeshows.
Every single dude trying to learn pickup should come out of Halloween with a boost to his internals every single year. That adds up.
On Not Relying on Your Externals