Beta Male Memories #3Posted: April 8, 2013
I’m still about 4.5 years old at the time and it’s Halloween.
My mother took the Shirley Temple concept to the extreme and made me wear the outfit she planned for me for the community center’s Halloween costume contest. Guess what she dressed me as?
That’s right! A fuckin’ girl, with a dress, wig, and makeup. I believe I cried and messed up the mascara, but I digress.
I didn’t win and I got some laughs from my neighborhood buddies. I ripped that costume off after the judging and told her I’d never again dress like a damn girl.
My mother never did dress me as a girl again, but she did still have enough pull to make me wear a costume she made me wear to my school for Halloween.
Guess what it was? A fuckin bumble-bee! Not a vicious mud dogger. Not a wasp. A bumble-bee.
I’ll give her credit about one thing though. She made that costume with her sewing machine. She had some skills that today’s women could surely use, but still, a bumble bee ain’t much better, definitely not as cool as the other costumes. That was the last costume I would wear without picking it myself.
Fathers, dress your kids as pirates, soldiers, or big penises penetrating vaginas or something. They won’t win, and will probably be sent home, but they’ll never forget the laughs they had with dear ol’ dad making the costumes.